


everybody talks

by perennial



Category: Hart of Dixie
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Epistolary, F/M, Non-Canon Relationship, Text Format, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:47:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25702291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perennial/pseuds/perennial
Summary: BRICK(07:02 AM) How are you feeling, sweetheart?(07:02 AM) Still on for tomorrow?LEMON(07:10 AM) Why does everyone keep asking me that?Tomorrow Lemon is marrying Lavon. Today she is trying to locate a certain MIA bartender.
Relationships: Lemon Breeland/Wade Kinsella
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	everybody talks

**Author's Note:**

> set sometime during an alternate s3. lemon and lavon are engaged, lemon and wade are co-owners of the rammer jammer, brick and shelby are married, zoe and joel are together and have a timeshare along the gulf, and both george and annabeth are splendidly single.

**BRICK**  
(07:02 AM) How are you feeling, sweetheart?  
(07:02 AM) Still on for tomorrow?

 **LEMON**  
(07:10 AM) Why does everyone keep asking me that?

::

 **LEMON**  
(07:13 AM) I just sent you the updated reception prep to do list  
(07:13 AM) Call me when you get this  
(07:26 AM) ^?  
(07:31 AM) ^??????  
(07:44 AM) Why haven’t you opened the rj?  
(07:44 AM) The breakfast crowd keeps calling me  
(07:45 AM) Wade  
(07:46 AM) Hello????  
(07:48 AM) Please don’t have overslept I genuinely don’t have time for this  
(07:52 AM) WADE

::

 **LEMON**  
(07:52 AM) Is Wade with you?

 **LAVON**  
(07:56 AM) Hey beautiful… Happy morning of the day before the day we start the rest of our lives together  
(07:56 AM) :D  
(07:56 AM) No he’s not  
(07:57 AM) How was the bachelorette party?

 **LEMON**  
(07:58 AM) I can’t find him  
(07:58 AM) Have you seen him?

 **LAVON**  
(07:59 AM) Come on… Not even a kiss emoji?

 **LEMON**  
(07:59 AM) This is important  
(07:59 AM) I need you to think where you saw him last  
(08:00 AM) Or anything he might have said/done that might be a clue to where he went

 **LAVON**  
(08:00 AM) Honey… Dude’s a grown ass man

 **LEMON**  
(08:02 AM) Who has gone AWOL when he’s supposed to be setting up our reception venue

 **LAVON**  
(08:02 AM) If he’s off the grid  
(08:03 AM) I mean… This is Wade we’re talking about  
(08:03 AM) One guess what he’s up to

 **LEMON**  
(08:04 AM) No he’s sworn off one night stands remember  
(08:05 AM) His celibacy kickoff celebration?  
(08:05 AM) Him/George/meatball/Joel/Tom/you got so drunk you hitchhiked halfway to ATL?

 **LAVON**  
(08:05 AM) Oh yeah

::

 **LEMON**  
(08:14 AM) Please confirm you are ok  
(08:14 AM) I will feel terrible if you’re dead in a ditch while I’ve been leaving you angry voicemails  
(08:25 AM) Ok I’ve had about enough of this

::

 **SHELBY**  
(08:27 AM) Hi Lemon Pie!!!!!!!!! REMINDER! Flowers are being delivered at 2p.m. and if you need to cancel for any reason it has to be called in by 10a.m.! Letting you know just in case! Time’s a-ticking!!!!! :) :)  
-Shels

 **LEMON**  
(08:29 AM) Yes thank you so much again  
(08:30 AM) You told me this yesterday and last week and the week before that  
(08:30 AM) Perhaps an evaluation for early onset dementia is in order?

 **SHELBY**  
(08:34 AM) Yesterday’s reminder was from your fairy stepmother! Today’s is from your wedding planner! :) Keep an eye on that clock! LOL!!! Just let me know if I need to make a call!! :) ♡ :) ♡

::

 **LEMON**  
(08:36 AM) Any sign of him?

 **WANDA**  
(08:38 AM) Nope but don't fret, Tansy is covering, everything is fine.

 **LEMON**  
(08:39 AM) Y’all are the best  
(08:39 AM) I have a million things to do today or you know I’d be there

 **TOM**  
(08:42 AM) So tomorrow is still on?

::

 **ANNABETH**  
(09:14 AM) Getting excited?

 **LEMON**  
(09:22 AM) Lots of butterflies

 **ANNABETH**  
(09:25 AM) Yay! Like excited butterflies?

 **LEMON**  
(09:27 AM) Like I’m going to wring the neck of a certain bartender the instant he shows his face butterflies

 **ANNABETH**  
(09:28 AM) Okay!!!  
(09:28 AM) Not really what I meant  
(09:28 AM) Did something happen?

 **LEMON**  
(09:29 AM) He has vanished into thin air

 **ANNABETH**  
(09:31 AM) Vanished like he said something to you and left? Or you said something to him and he left? Like something that wouldn’t be part of a normal conversation and could be easily misinterpreted?

 **LEMON**  
(09:32 AM) What??

 **ANNABETH**  
(09:32 AM) So nobody said anything to anyone?

 **LEMON**  
(09:33 AM) Annabeth. Focus please  
(09:34 AM) The man who is currently supposed to be managing the rammer jammer AND with whom I trusted the crucial job of overseeing reception setup for the most important event of my life which btw is happening in LESS THAN 24 HOURS has disappeared without a trace

 **ANNABETH**  
(09:36 AM) Maybe he’s sick

 **LEMON**  
(09:36 AM) I went to his house, it’s empty

 **ANNABETH**  
(09:37 AM) Okay  
(09:37 AM) Not to be morbid but

 **LEMON**  
(09:37 AM) I've already called all the hospitals and urgent cares within 50 miles  
(09:38 AM) I’m calling his father  
(09:38 AM) I need to figure out who saw him last

 **ANNABETH**  
(09:39 AM) Just an item for your consideration: is it possible you’re taking this too far?  
(09:40 AM) Not to bring this up, but  
(09:40 AM) Remember that time in 10th grade algebra

 **LEMON**  
(09:40 AM) This isn’t like that

 **ANNABETH**  
(09:41 AM) Terrific! That’s a weight off my mind

 **LEMON**  
(09:43 AM) He better not be planning some stupid wedding day surprise  
(09:43 AM) /gift which is sure to clash with the decor palette

 **ANNABETH**  
(09:44 AM) But you ARE excited? About tomorrow?

::

 **LEMON**  
(10:12 AM) WHERE ARE YOU

 **WADE**  
(10:44 AM) _seen_

::

 **GEORGE**  
(10:57 AM) Just ran into Dash and Bill, they don’t know where he is either  
(10:57 AM) Bill says please stop reporting Wade as missing

 **LEMON**  
(10:58 AM) Thanks anyway

 **GEORGE**  
(11:00 AM) You know I have a healthy respect for your wrath

 **LEMON**  
(11:04 AM) What is this about

 **GEORGE**  
(11:08 AM) Just don’t kill the messenger  
(11:08 AM) Look, I know he threw that celibacy party but that was a while ago  
(11:09 AM) Maybe it’s worth considering that he might be with another woman?

 **LEMON**  
(11:09 AM) Another?

 **GEORGE**  
(11:09 AM) Any woman  
(11:09 AM) I mean  
(11:10 AM) Any woman who is available and isn’t you  
(11:10 AM) Not that you’re available  
(11:10 AM) You aren’t part of that demographic  
(11:11 AM) Not that it would be you even if you were available  
(11:11 AM) So you don’t count!

 **LEMON**  
(11:13 AM) Are you day drinking?????

::

 **CRICKETT**  
(11:28 AM) He’s not at the Butter Stick, sorry Lemon

 **LEMON**  
(11:33 AM) It’s Wade who’ll be sorry when I find him  
(11:33 AM) And I WILL find him  
(11:34 AM) This town is the size of a postcard and I know all his hiding spots

 **CRICKETT**  
(11:39 AM) Sounds good!  
(11:46 AM) Wait huh?  
(11:46 AM) He’s in the mailbox?

::

 **LEMON**  
(11:58 AM) Where is Wade?

 **MEATBALL**  
(12:17 PM) new phone who dis

 **LEMON**  
(12:20 PM) Answer me

 **MEATBALL**  
(12:24 PM) new phone who dis

 **LEMON**  
(12:25 PM) Do you have a death wish?

 **MEATBALL**  
(12:32 PM) new phone who dis

::

 **LEMON**  
(01:05 PM) If you don’t answer in 15 minutes I’ll assume you're dead in a ditch and donate your 1/2 of the rj to the Belles  
(01:20 PM) Call me or I’ll tell Dash that you’re still in love with Zoe and set him loose on next month’s newsletter  
(01:29) Since you’re dead we’re taking down the ugly light fixture over the bar and painting the back wall, glad you won’t mind!  
(01:42 PM) This is really low even for you

::

 **BETTIE BREELAND**  
(02:15 PM) Lemon, this is your Grandmother. Please do me the courtesy of answering your cell phone. Why do you have one if you do not use it. I am unable to reach your father or that so-called wife of his. I am in immediate need of confirmation that your wedding, planned for tomorrow at 4:00 in the afternoon, is still occurring. I am fixing to leave my house in 30 minutes and I have no intention of travelling all the way to Bluebell for another one of your cancelled weddings.

::

 **LEMON**  
(02:32 PM) I know this is a stretch

 **TANSY**  
(02:32 PM) not a sight or a peep  
(02:32 PM) believe me, I’d have lassoed him up and carried him straight to you  
(02:33 PM) this was supposed to be my day off  
(02:33 PM) I asked my brothers too, double checked their house in case they were lying

 **LEMON**  
(02:34 PM) Thank you  
(02:34 PM) I appreciate your thoroughness  
(02:35 PM) And your commitment to the RJ

 **TANSY**  
(02:35 PM) any time  
(02:35 PM) and shame on him for doing you dirty  
(02:36 PM) I honestly expected better, I really thought he’d changed

 **LEMON**  
(02:41 PM) Me too

::

 **MAGNOLIA**  
(02:59 PM) r u really gonna do this

 **LEMON**  
(03:06 PM) Magnolia  
(03:06 PM) I repeat  
(03:07 PM) You are not invited to Paris  
(03:07 PM) It’s my honeymoon  
(03:07 PM) Get your own

 **MAGNOLIA**  
(03:22 PM) omg not that  
(03:22 PM) ur really marrying lavon  
(03:22 PM) ?  
(03:22 PM) duh

 **LEMON**  
(03:27 PM) YES.

 **MAGNOLIA**  
(03:32 PM) but ur in love with wade

 **LEMON**  
(03:40 PM) For the LAST time. I am in love with LAVON. I am HAPPY. Tomorrow I’m marrying my true love, the wedding is going to be gorgeous, and my life is going to become everything I ever dreamed of. Accept it or don’t but either way stop pushing this!!!!!!

 **MAGNOLIA**  
(03:41 PM) lemon  
(03:41 PM) i love u  
(03:42 PM) but  
(03:42 PM) ur such an idiot

::

 **ANNABETH**  
(03:56 PM) How’s it going?

 **LEMON**  
(04:16 PM) Truly terrible  
(04:16 PM) Nothing is ready  
(04:16 PM) The table alignments are a mess  
(04:17 PM) I’m missing 11 chairs  
(04:17 PM) I ran out of command strips  
(04:17 PM) The pork steaks are frozen solid  
(04:17 PM) My best friend abandoned me without a word

 **ANNABETH**  
(04:22 PM) Not this best friend! I’m on my way!

::

 **LEMON**  
(07:01 PM) I’ll preface this by saying that if you lie to me I’ll know and the consequences will be dire

 **ZOE**  
(07:03 PM) Message received.

 **LEMON**  
(07:04 PM) Is Wade with you?

 **ZOE**  
(07:05 PM) Negative.

 **LEMON**  
(07:05 PM) Do you know where he is?

 **ZOE**  
(07:21 PM) Aren’t we all just floating unsupported through an endless expanse of gas atop this beautiful planet we call Earth?

 **LEMON**  
(07:21 PM) Is that a yes?  
(07:24 PM) That’s a yes  
(07:24 PM) Where is he

 **ZOE**  
(07:32 PM) Could you maybe ask that in a way that isn’t so direct?

 **LEMON**  
(07:33 PM) Where is he, Zoe

 **ZOE**  
(07:51 PM) First you have to swear not to tell him I told you because he’ll kill me and that will leave many people in Bluebell heartbroken! I am a favorite doctor to many!

::

 **LEMON**  
(07:52 PM) YOU'RE IN FLORIDA?  
(07:52 PM) Get back here NOW

 **WADE**  
(08:13 PM) no

 **LEMON**  
(08:13 PM) What do you mean no  
(08:14 PM) I need you here  
(08:16 PM) Wade  
(08:19 PM) WADE!!!  
(08:19 PM) PICK UP THE PHONE!!!!!!!  
(08:23 PM) Wade please  
(08:23 PM) Please  
(08:23 PM) Everything is falling apart  
(08:23 PM) I need you  
(08:24 PM) *here

 **WADE**  
(08:27 PM) i know  
(08:27 PM) to fetch and carry for you  
(08:28 PM) and hang up citrus garland bullshit  
(08:28 PM) not interested

 **LEMON**  
(08:28 PM) Of course not for that  
(08:28 PM) As my FRIEND  
(08:28 PM) I need you here  
(08:29 PM) Standing by me at my WEDDING  
(08:29 PM) And fulfilling your RECEPTION COMMITMENTS

 **WADE**  
(08:31 PM) tell me something  
(08:32 PM) how has it not yet occurred to you that i am very intentionally nowhere close to bluebell  
(08:32 PM) on this weekend specifically

 **LEMON**  
(08:32 PM) Are you serious  
(08:32 PM) Of course I know you left on purpose!!!

 **WADE**  
(08:33 PM) and why do you think that is

 **LEMON**  
(08:33 PM) Because you’re an asshole!

 **WADE**  
(08:34 PM) so what makes you think id come back just because youre blowing up my phone

 **LEMON**  
(08:36 PM) Because you know I will make your life absolute hell if you don’t  
(08:36 PM) And because you’re my best friend and you love me

 **WADE**  
(08:36 PM) _seen_

::

 **LAVON**  
(10:04 PM) Goodnight beautiful  
(10:04 PM) Can’t wait for tomorrow  
(10:04 PM) ♡♡♡♡

 **LEMON**  
(10:19 PM) Why Florida though???  
(10:19 PM) It makes no sense  
(10:19 PM) He doesn’t even like the beach

::

 **LEMON**  
(01:14 AM) I just don’t understand why he would leave town  
(02:07 AM) Was it something I did?  
(02:08 AM) I’ve been swamped with wedding planning but I feel like I would have noticed if he was mad at me  
(03:46 AM) Why would he leave without a word  
(03:46 AM) Why won’t he explain?????  
(03:47 AM) He won’t answer my calls  
(03:47 AM) He’ll barely even text back  
(03:47 AM) It’s incredibly juvenile  
(03:48 AM) And my feelings are so deeply hurt I don’t even know where to start

 **ANNABETH**  
(03:50 AM) Have you slept?

::

 **WADE**  
(06:08 AM) didnt your etiquette class teach you to never call before 8 am  
(06:08 AM) or do you have a death wish

 **LEMON**  
(06:08 AM) _seen_

 **WADE**  
(06:16 AM) dammit stop calling me  
(06:17 AM) aint even light outside

 **LEMON**  
(06:17 AM) Wade  
(06:17 AM) I don’t want you to fetch and carry  
(06:17 AM) It’s my wedding day and I want you here with me  
(06:18 AM) I need your support  
(06:18 AM) And steadiness  
(06:18 AM) And humor  
(06:18 AM) And fake chill

 **WADE**  
(06:21 AM) thats what lavons for

 **LEMON**  
(06:21 AM) It’s not the same

 **WADE**  
(06:22 AM) youre brutal lemon you know that

 **LEMON**  
(06:22 AM) Please can we talk  
(06:22 AM) At least tell me why you won’t pick up  
(06:27 AM) Wade  
(06:27 AM) ???????  
(06:31 AM) WADE

 **WADE**  
(06:32 AM) i love you, lemon

 **LEMON**  
(06:32 AM) Then why aren’t you here?  
(06:32 AM) I don’t understand!  
(06:33 AM) You’re breaking my heart and you don’t even care!

 **WADE**  
(06:35 AM) of course i care

 **LEMON**  
(06:35 AM) Then come home!!!!

 **WADE**  
(06:36 AM) lemon  
(06:36 AM) i am so hungover i think i might actually die  
(06:36 AM) and somebody called me 17 times before sunrise  
(06:36 AM) so i will tell you why im in fla  
(06:37 AM) but only if you promise to leave it  
(06:37 AM) no more texts  
(06:37 AM) no more calls  
(06:37 AM) no talking about it in person  
(06:38 AM) ever ! ! !  
(06:38 AM) forget it as soon as i say it

 **LEMON**  
(06:39 AM) You are such a drama queen  
(06:40 AM) How you managed to get an entire town to believe you’re laid back is beyond me

 **WADE**  
(06:40 AM) say you promise  
(06:40 AM) i want it on record

 **LEMON**  
(06:41 AM) I don’t understand why this needs to involve a gag order

 **WADE**  
(06:41 AM) promise

 **LEMON**  
(06:42 AM) FINE. On the record: I agree to all your demands above

 **WADE**  
(06:42 AM) ok

 **LEMON**  
(06:45 AM) Are you writing a novel? Why are you still typing

 **WADE**  
(06:46 AM) i cant watch you marry lavon

 **LEMON**  
(06:46 AM) That’s it??  
(06:46 AM) That makes no sense!  
(06:46 AM) WAIT  
(06:47 AM) OH MY LORD  
(06:47 AM) You’re secretly in love with Lavon????!!!!

 **WADE**  
(06:48 AM) now see that was a test run  
(06:48 AM) i knew you couldnt shut up  
(06:48 AM) hell no im not in love with lavon  
(06:48 AM) but youre getting warmer ill give you that  
(06:49 AM) lets try this again  
(06:49 AM) fact is  
(06:50 AM) as i actually already told you  
(06:50 AM) and have been trying to tell you for months  
(06:51 AM) its you  
(06:51 AM) i am secretly in love with you lemon breeland  
(06:51 AM) so there you go  
(06:52 AM) and no this is not a joke  
(06:52 AM) im stone cold serious  
(06:53 AM) maybe another guy could watch the woman he loves marry another guy and keep his cool but he aint me  
(06:53 AM) if im there ill yell objection and ruin your wedding  
(06:54 AM) or murder lavon which would be a huge bummer  
(06:54 AM) i thought i could take it and i thought wrong  
(06:54 AM) so i left  
(06:54 AM) now forget i told you  
(06:55 AM) im turning off my phone  
(06:55 AM) happy wedding day lemon  
(06:55 AM) i mean that with mostly all my heart

::

 **LEMON**  
(07:21 AM) Please call me as soon as you wake up

 **LAVON**  
(07:48 AM) Hey hey wedding day!!  
(07:48 AM) :D

 **LEMON**  
(07:49 AM) Why aren’t you picking up?

 **LAVON**  
(07:50 AM) Bad luck to talk to the bride before the wedding  
(07:50 AM) I know the tradition is only that I can’t see you but I’m covering all bases :D

 **LEMON**  
(07:50 AM) Please pick up  
(07:51 AM) It’s important

::

 **JOEL**  
(09:29 AM) [MAP LINK: _3049 Bermuda Breeze Boulev…_ ]

 **LEMON**  
(09:29 AM) Thank you so much  
(09:30 AM) I owe you one  
(09:30 AM) After you make up for letting him stay there in the first place of course

 **JOEL**  
(09:31 AM) of course  
(0(:31 AM) frankly I’m just happy I don’t have to listen to any more 3 AM drunk phone calls about you  
(09:31 AM) he’s so dramatic it doesn’t even read believably as fiction  
(09:32 AM) trust me I’ve tried

 **LEMON**  
(09:32 AM) Don’t say it

 **JOEL**  
(09:32 AM) you’re perfect for each other  
(09:32 AM) woahh we must have hit send at the same time

::

 **BRICK**  
(09:52 AM) I’m very proud of you honey.  
(09:53 AM) We’ll be eating lemongrass chicken every supper for the next three months and I will think every night how proud of you I am.

::

 **ANNABETH**  
(10:27 AM) You can stop worrying, he’s just fine  
(10:27 AM) Your dad decided to have the reception after all  
(10:28 AM) “Lavon’s Singlehood Kickoff Celebration”  
(10:28 AM) Are all men terrible at event names or just our men?  
(10:28 AM) I think this day will go down as one of his life’s highlights  
(10:29 AM) The whole town is here partying  
(10:29 AM) Note that it’s still brunch hours  
(10:29 AM) Tom found the July 4th confetti stash  
(10:29 AM) You’d think we just won a world war  
(10:31 AM) [ _Photo 3.8 MB_ ]  
(10:32 AM) Let me (eventually) know you got there safely  
(10:32 AM) Love you dearly  
(10:32 AM) ♡♡

::

 **ZOE**  
(11:14 AM) Wassup runaway bride!  
(11:15 AM) Never thought I’d see the dtgugfe threjkfkpppppp

::

 **JOEL**  
(11:18 AM) I took away her phone and hid it  
(11:18 AM) you guys have fun

::

 **WANDA**  
(01:02 PM) Hey lovebirds  
(01:03 PM) Thanks for giving us the week off with pay!  
(01:03 PM) ;)  
(01:03 PM) But seriously.

 **TOM**  
(01:04 PM) See y’all on the flip side

::

 **LEMON**  
(02:39 PM) On the record: I love you too  
(02:39 PM) Entirely  
(02:39 PM) Immeasurably

 **WADE**  
(02:40 PM) on the record you smell amazing  
(02:40 PM) and feel amazing  
(02:40 PM) and taste amazing

(03:12 PM) on the record i knew you wouldnt obey the terms

 **LEMON**  
(03:12 PM) OH SORRY  
(03:12 PM) Would you like me to leave

 **WADE**  
(03:13 PM) on the record absolutely not ever

 **LEMON**  
(09:43 PM) Consumingly  
(09:43 PM) Dizzyingly  
(09:43 PM) Faithfully  
(09:44 PM) Always

 **WADE**  
(09:44 PM) _Wade loved ‘Always’_

::

 **MAGNOLIA**  
(05:02 PM) r u ever coming home???????  
(05:02 PM) grandma is still here  
(05:02 PM) i need to move in with u and wade  
(05:03 PM) ps bring me back a hermit crab elopement souvenir


End file.
